If your child is bullied, start by listening calmly, believing what they tell you, and writing down what happened, when it happened, and who was involved. Then contact the school through its usual route, ask what steps it will take, and follow up until the pattern changes. Your child needs to know that telling you was the right step, and that adults will act.

What to Do First

Listen without interrupting, thank your child for telling you, and avoid blaming them for what happened. Ask open questions about what happened, where it happened, and how often it has happened. Write down dates, places, and names while the details are fresh. Keep messages or posts if the bullying is online, and save them in a safe place. This record helps the school see the pattern clearly.

How to Contact the School

Contact the school through its usual route, starting with the teacher or counselor, and share your written record. Ask what steps the school will take, who will follow up, and when you will hear back. Stay calm and focused on the pattern and on what would help your child feel safe. If the pattern continues, contact the school again, share new dates, and ask for a new plan. Always follow your school and district policy for reporting and follow-up.

Signs Your Child May Be Bullied

Signs include avoiding school, losing interest in activities, changes in sleep or appetite, damaged belongings, or reluctance to talk about friends or lunch. Your child may complain of stomachaches or headaches before school, or ask to stay home. Some children hide bullying because they fear retaliation or worry about upsetting their parents. A calm, regular check-in about school life helps your child feel safe to tell you.

What Your Child Can Do

Help your child practice telling a trusted adult, using a short response such as “Please stop,” and moving to a safer place or group. Remind them not to fight back physically or to try to handle repeated bullying alone. Encourage them to keep a trusted friend nearby at lunch, recess, or in the hallway, and to tell you or a teacher each time the pattern repeats.

How Teachers Can Help Parents

Teachers can listen to parents without minimizing the report, share what they have seen, and explain the school’s next steps. When a parent reports bullying, share it through the school’s usual route and follow your school and district policy. Check in with the student, monitor the settings where the behavior occurs, and keep parents updated on the plan, so they do not have to guess whether action was taken.

Supporting Your Child at Home

At home, keep routines steady, encourage activities your child enjoys, and praise the courage it took to tell you. Avoid advising your child to “just ignore it” when a pattern continues, and avoid contacting other students or parents directly in ways that could increase conflict. Instead, keep the school informed, keep your written record updated, and let your child know you will keep following up until school feels safer.

Try a Classroom Exercise

Use the Exercise Finder for empathy, inclusion, and bystander activities your child’s class can use, and follow the Start Here plan. Classroom work that builds empathy and safe reporting helps the whole class, not just one student.

Related Types of Bullying

Parents often start here and then need the details of a specific type. See Why Bystanders Stay Silent and Bullying vs. Conflict, and return to the Types of Bullying hub for the full list.

Frequently Asked Questions About What to Do If Your Child Is Bullied

Should I contact the other child’s parents directly?

Usually it is safer to contact the school first. The school can review the pattern and arrange a response without increasing conflict between families.

What if the school says it is just a conflict?

Share your written record of dates, places, and repetition, and ask the school to review the pattern. If the behavior repeats, contact the school again with new dates.

How long should I wait for a response?

Ask the school when you will hear back, and follow up if that time passes. Keep a note of each contact and response so the timeline is clear.

What if my child does not want me to tell the school?

Explain that adults need to know so they can help, and ask the school about private reporting options. Reassure your child that telling was brave and that you will keep them informed.

Want Help With This at Your School?

Want help with this at your school? Call 1-866-333-4553 or visit Start Here to begin the Safe School Program plan.