Most kids are kind most of the time. But sometimes someone is mean. They might say a hurtful word. They might laugh at you. They might push you or leave you out on purpose. That can hurt. It can make your stomach feel tight. It can make you feel sad or mad.
When someone is mean to you, it is not your fault. You did not cause it. You are not a bad kid. And you are not alone. Lots of kids have felt this way. The good news is you can do something about it. You have strong steps you can use. This post will show you what they are.
A Story About Jayden and the Blocks
Jayden loved building with blocks. One day in class, he built a tall tower. It had red blocks and blue blocks. It was almost as tall as his chair. He was so proud. Then Ethan walked by and knocked it down. Crash! The blocks went everywhere. Ethan laughed.
Jayden felt mad. His face got hot. He wanted to yell. He wanted to push Ethan back. But Jayden took a big breath. He said in a strong voice, “I did not like that. Please do not knock my tower down.” Then he walked to his teacher and told her what happened. His teacher helped Ethan say sorry. Jayden built his tower again. It was not the same tower. But Jayden felt proud again. He had used his strong voice. He had asked for help.
Jayden did the right thing. He did not hit back. He did not keep the hurt inside. He spoke up. He told a grown-up. That is brave.
First, Stay Safe
Your safety comes first. If someone pushes you, hits you, or will not leave you alone, move away. Walk to a teacher. Walk to a lunch helper. Walk to the office. Go where other people are. Safe places have grown-ups in them.
You do not have to fight back to be brave. Walking away is brave. It keeps you safe. It stops the mean behavior from growing bigger. If you are hurt, tell a grown-up right away. Show them where it hurts. Let them help you. That is what grown-ups are for.
If someone is mean online or on a tablet, the same rule works. Close the app. Walk away from the screen. Tell a grown-up what you saw. You do not have to answer a mean message. You do not have to keep looking at it.
Use Your Strong Voice
Your voice is strong. You can use it to stop mean behavior. Stand tall. Look at the person. Say in a clear, firm voice, “Stop. I do not like that.” Or say, “No. That is not okay.” You do not need to yell. You do not need to be mean back. A calm, strong voice works best.
Practice saying it at home. Stand in front of a mirror. Say, “Stop.” Say it again, a little stronger. How does it feel? It might feel strange at first. That is okay. The more you practice, the easier it gets. When you need it at school, your strong voice will be ready.
Sometimes the mean person will stop right away. Sometimes they will not. That is okay too. Your strong voice is step one. Walking away is step two. Telling a grown-up is step three. You can use all three steps together.
Walk Away and Find a Friend
Mean words want an audience. They want you to cry or get mad in front of everyone. When you walk away, you take that power away. Walk to a friend. Walk to a game. Walk to a teacher. Find people who are kind to you.
Stay with kind kids. Play with kids who share. Play with kids who use nice words. Those are your people. You do not have to play with someone who is mean to you. You can choose kind friends. That choice is yours.
If you feel sad after someone is mean, it helps to talk to a friend. Say, “Ethan knocked my tower down and it made me sad.” A good friend will listen. They might say, “That was not nice. Want to build with me?” Friends help sad feelings get smaller.
Tell a Grown-Up You Trust
Telling a grown-up is not tattling. Tattling is trying to get someone in trouble for a small thing. Telling is asking for help when someone is hurt or unsafe. That is a big difference. You are allowed to tell. You should tell.
Pick a grown-up you trust. Your teacher. Your counselor. Your mom or dad. Your grandma. Tell them what happened. Use clear words. Say who did it. Say what they did. Say where it happened. Say how it made you feel. Grown-ups need those details to help you.
If the first grown-up does not help, tell another one. Keep telling until someone helps. You deserve help. You deserve to feel safe at school. Do not give up. Your feelings matter.
What If It Happens Again and Again?
Sometimes mean behavior happens once. Sometimes it happens again and again. When it happens over and over, and one kid has more power than the other, that is bullying. Bullying is not okay. It is never okay. And it is never your fault.
If it keeps happening, write it down with a grown-up. What happened today? Who was there? Where were you? Writing it down helps grown-ups see the pattern. It helps them stop it. You can also keep a note in your backpack. Each time it happens, tell your teacher that same day. Do not wait.
You might feel scared to tell. That is normal. You might worry the mean kid will be mad at you. But telling is the fastest way to make it stop. Grown-ups know how to handle it. They can talk to the other kid. They can watch the playground more closely. They can make a plan to keep you safe.
Try This
Practice your strong voice at home this week. Pick three strong sentences. “Stop. I do not like that.” “No. That is not okay.” “Please leave me alone.” Say each one three times in a clear, strong voice. Then practice walking away calmly and finding a grown-up. Ask your mom or dad to pretend to be the mean kid, so you can practice walking away and telling. It might feel silly. But practice makes you ready. When you know what to say, you feel less scared.
You Are Stronger Than Mean Words
Mean words can stick in your head. You might hear them again at night. You might think they are true. They are not true. You are kind. You are smart. You are a good friend. One mean kid does not get to decide who you are.
Think of three good things about you. Maybe you are good at drawing. Maybe you are fast at running. Maybe you help your little brother. Say those three things to yourself when you feel sad. They are true. They are yours. No mean word can take them away.
School should be a safe place. You should feel happy to go. If someone is mean to you, use your steps. Stay safe. Use your strong voice. Walk away. Tell a grown-up. Do it again if you need to. You are brave. You can do this.
Looking for an Anti-Bullying Speaker?
Jim Jordan visits schools across the USA with a powerful anti-bullying assembly your students will remember.
Book Jim for your school: reportbullying.com or call 1-866-333-4553.
